That first time I saw him my heart burned like a bonfire that could light up the darkest September sky. And I knew he'd be mine. I just had to somehow force my feet from the spot that they were rooted in. I could not speak. I could not move. I could not breathe. My eyes... they were bright with desire and fixed upon him. I had become the voyuer... suddenly realising what it felt like to not be objectified but to be the one who so superficially lusts after another.

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Friday, 6 February 2009 Y 08:25

The importance of being idle.

It's that feeling you get. You know the one. The one that is like a pause. A moment between chapters that makes you rethink what was before and what shall be. And the most intense fact about this feeling is that it also sneaks up when you least expect. When you find something that you think is so close to perfection yet so broken in so many ways. Who knew souls could speak over the internet? Yet his eyes, his foreign appeal, the song that resounded from his myspace page is one that touches you in such a way. In such a way, it makes you feel so sombre and serene. He is a mystery which was only stumbled upon by idle fingers.

The beauty of it lies within it's stealing of happiness and time. It took me to a place where I was not sad, not particularly unhappy either. All I can describe it as is a moment. A moment where I questioned something. It brought back memories of a sadder time. But instead of them drowning my soul it was like they made it able to float. You know? Maybe not. But I do now. It was a moment of finding, a moment of discovery.... over the internet? ha. Interesting...

Labels: discovery, finding, thoughts

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